You know those times? I’m having one right now. I’ve been feeling a tad defeated, again. Especially when it would appear that everything was finally falling into place. I better get off that silly notion. Things don’t fall into place. When precious things fall, they smash. I may feel a little but one step forward two steps back but hello, that means it’s time for me do what I do best: and that’s working hard and remembering that life can’t fall into place. One must organise it! You have put things in their place. Unless living in a life resembling an episode of Hoarders (yikes!) So, I’m not just going to sit back and roll my eyes and be angry. Negativity is like an addiction and I am way too busy for any of that. I have a pink credit card. From where I’m standing, things could be way more complicated. Plus, disco,
So I’m just going to admit that I should not be allowed to go in stores or look at clothes, shoes, makeup, or anything I may want to purchase online. I fully realise that this makes me sound like an absolute crazy person I feel as though I cannot continue existing without purchasing the shoes I just saw on the Tokyo Bopper website. I cannot think about anything else. I am 100% fixated on those shoes. Leather or suede. How can I have them? Money, I will thee to appear in mine hand… This feels like a life or death situation. Shoes are the most wonderful gift, delivered straight from Lucifer himself. Thanks, hunty!
I don’t know why, but I’m feeling awfully fancy today. What I mean by fancy is a mix of feeling good about my 一所懸命 attitude about life I’m actively cultivating. Well, I’m currently really trying to feel only good feels and accept that the only way to change things I’m not happy with, in my life, is to be the person who makes the change happen.
Oddly enough I feel a calmness that I don’t generally experience when faced with this sort of obstacles. You know, the big obstacles that make or break your life. Perhaps I overthink things. Okay, I deffo overthink everything ever. Which is something I am really working on fixing. No obsessing, just using my brand of crazy as a fuel of motivation to get what I want. I think that’s something that I’ve lost sight of, recently. I live by the mantra that I always get what I want because I make it happen. Writing it down makes it feel more real and tangible, or something.
This feeling of making it work and being in charge of my life again has me feeling way nostalgic. I watched a billion old videos on youtube, from when I first arrived in Japan. Music has really evolved since 2013, I’ll say that. However, I’m pleased that サカナクション has maintained their signature sound. 「アルケアラウンド」 was the first of their songs I heard and I was a man obsessed.
So, while I was doing tasks that needed taking care of, on an exciting Friday night in, I had a thought that gave me a chuckle. All these new menswear collections that have are like, extra team too much make me feel validation. I get the sideways looks and whatever but all the ridiculousness that’s I come up with and is scrutinised and mocked is now sailing down the runway. I’m not saying I’m fabulously always correct, but when it comes to fashion and pop culture I think I’ve been given a sign to trust myself.
Can we talk about Balmain menswear? Of course, it’s an autumn collection. Thanksgiving? More like thanksLIVING!! HALLELOO! Vinyl and shiny everything. I suppose the great irony is, I’m one of few people foolish enough to wear those runway pieces on the regular and cannot even think of affording them. Oh well, I can stare with adoration or maybe even get crackin’ to make myself more clothes. All in all, I’m pleased to see the world got the memo.
So okay, I firmly believe that everything works out in the end. If things haven’t worked out, then it just means it isn’t the end yet. Lately, I feel like I’ve stumbled a bit. I am very hard on myself and somewhat unforgiving. I’m not in a pity party. Not at all. In fact, I feel oddly curious about what this strange adventure called life has in store for me. I think I’ll have a bowl of cereal and perhaps a nap.
Not working on Mondays rules. I have a 48 hour Sunday. Nothing wrong with that.
Lately, I’ve been dividing my free time between studying Japanese with much more diligence and setting English writing tasks for myself.
I mean, I do live in Tokyo and have kind of forgotten everything I’ve ever learned. Or it wasn’t exactly well taught. Apps and podcasts are far better teachers than any teacher I’ve ever had.
The English writing tasks are important to keep my level of professional business style writing nice and fancy without sacrificing the tone that makes my writing undoubtedly mine.
Yes, this is a somewhat dorky way to be spending my free time. When did I ever say I wasn’t a dork? I try to be my best.
in case you haven’t noticed, it’s been about a billion years since i made a post here. life has been mad intense, but that’s not a complaint. work has been really kicking my ass. this too is no complaint. i have many complaints but after all my research about the internet and user behaviour… well, the oversharing factor is increasing at an astonishing rate.
i will say this: i still don’t love when people try to control my life, my mother is getting two kittens on the weekend, and after five years i’m finally getting a japanese credit card. why mention that? to make it known that said card is available in pink, which i chose. obvs.
Okay, I don’t want to sound dramatic, but I also, really hate lying. I am kind of a dramatic person. That’s just how it is. How did 2018 begin, and how did January fly right by? I have just become aware that 2018 is happening, and we’re already a month in!
I am starting to feel at ease, or as at ease as I ever really am. I am really into my incredible job that my Tokyo wifey Misha totally hooked me up with. I’ll spell it out: she is my saviour. She did the introduction, and I worked my charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent and turned a little wee here and there gig into a full on job. I have to give myself a pat on the back for that one. I am working harder than I’ve worked at a job, but I am so into to. Like, I am taken seriously and have trust put in me. For the first time in my life my opinions and skills are taken seriously. I have never felt this kind of validation, in my life. The managers, producers, and directors actually listen to me, and they are fully aware that I have a way of knowing what will work. After all my years of being underestimated and something of a joke, in the minds of teachers and most of my peers, my eclectic knowledge-base and eccentricities are paying off.
Plus, did I mention that I legit love what I do? Who knew that ever happened. There are times when I am so busy that I can’t think, but it is well worth the stress.
Let me take you back. A few years ago when I was in beginning my MA at Bunka, and I received a lot of scathing looks for my love of all things sparkly, shiny, and over the top glittery. I admit that my love and obsession for all that glitters can, easily, be called tacky or a bit too much. However, I knew, as I always do, that nobody was immune to the sparkle. Fast forward a few years, and well would you look at that. Comme des Garçons Homme Plus S/S 2018 SEQUINS. Chanel, window diaplay? I have the fabric those boots are covered in. Technically those, who shall remain unnamed, talked smack about it! I have receipts, and they’re evidence signed sealed and delivered by Rei Kawakubo and Karl Lagerfeld.