so like, i live in Tokyo. Between Donald Trump and Kim Jung-Un, I would say we’re all doomed.
For someone who is easily categorised as being 大ファン、it sure took me quite awhile to see ベッド・イン perform live. Let me tell you something for nothing, those girls know how to put on a goddamn show. Seeing them perform is really interesting. Chan-Mai comes from a background deeply rooted in the Tokyo punk and metal scene, and it’s really obvious when you see her perform. I, also, have roots pretty firmly planted in the punk scene. As their show progressed, her punk history became more and more visually evident, just by her overall demeanour. As for Kaori, that girl can bloody sing. Like, I’m talking notes belted out and held right where they’re supposed to be. Picture Phi Phi O’Hara performing a cappella, on All Stars Season 2. Now imagine the exact opposite and that’s Kaori.
This is a bold statement, but it may be the best live show I’ve ever attended. Although, I am not going on the record having said that, so don’t go quoting me. We’ll say it’s an unofficial statement that has the potential to be changed, in the future.
I must give major thanks to my Tokyo BFF, and sustah, Chris Nodeisha. He knows how broke I am, and how real the struggle is, when it comes to the job-hunting lifestyle. He bought my ticket and I am over the moon thankful. After four years of friendship, we finally took a photo together that I don’t hate. Disliking photos of myself is second nature, to me. I can’t help it. But we look cute. Chis knows his angles, I’ve yet to find mine.
I did splurge and buy an official ベッド・イン folding fan, adorned with pink feathers. Not only does it match my ベッド・イン t-shirt, but I’ve decided that I’m bringing electroclash style back. I’m breaking my monochrome rule, and incorporating some neon pink into the wardrobe. I won’t lie, it’s a hard adjustment. Even as a pop colour I can’t help but feel a little tense when it comes to adding any colour to the monochromatic look I’ve diligently cultivated over the past decade.
I have also stumbled onto a new potential work position that might, who knows, work out. I had a headache, and should likely be sleeping. So, good night and enjoy some ベッド・イン、because how could you not?
Fun fact, Chan-Mai does that kick and she does it with conviction. Her shoe flew off. What a damn good night.
Chan-Mai has been known to play with the seminal Japanese punk bad, Guitar Wolf. Long and short of it, the girl can play. And she commented on my Instagram photo about seeing Chris and I. Apparently we made a lasting impression at the CD release for「男はイツだけじorゃない」。Sue me ❤️
Although I’ve received some flack for it in the past, I’ve always been living for Kesha. She can write, she can sing, and she’s a great representation of the weird misfit creative kids from my generation (I just asked Siri, who knew the girl was 30?!)
After her horrendous battle with Dr.Luke for his repeated assaults on her followed by the rieisuclous rulings by the courts, she had to record work with him to get out of her contract (I think.) Yes, I’m the first to admit that the video its a little dramatic but she’s kind of been through some heavy shit. The song totally has potential to be an anthem, of sorts, for people who have suffered abuse, of any kind.
Oh, so y’all wanna talk about a comeback single? Because Ms. Kesha Rose has pretty much set the new bar. That note at the end? Yaaaaas queeen!
I am very curious to see what path her music takes, now that she’s not being pumped through the pop music processor. Her party tracks were a good time but like, the girl collaborated with Iggy Pop. And it was good.
In any case, it’s good to see her back. And there is a lot of serious shade in those lyrics. No secret who she talkin’ to.
So, okay, am I totally buggin’ or something? While I realise that time forever passes, blah, blah, yeah, yeah. Having said that, has anyone else noticed that we’re halfway through May and that means a) I am a billion and b) this year is a month and a half shy of being 50% over.
Perhaps as we age the wiring of our brain changes, on a fundamental level. I know I am not alone when I recall summer vacation feeling like a lifetime, and the dreaded school year felt like a decade. This is where the rewiring theory comes into play. Maybe we’re paying for, what I think of as, the stolen time of youth by losing time as days pass by, like trains leaving Shinjuku station. Right. On. Time.
Consumed by constant worry over my future (as always,) and flurry for events and happenings in 2017: completing my MA, the loss of Pheebs and Phyllo, my mother’s visit to Tokyo, graduation, ageing, the Beacs, the loss of Wilma, the list feels like an endless scroll. I suppose all of these little things add up to the sum of life. A little depressing. Sorry ’bout it.
I received some very upsetting news during this week. The Beaconsfield, the bar where I basically spent my 20s, was closing. It was all so sudden that I didn’t know what the hell was happening. I found out that the building had sold and the staff, all of whom are my friends, were informed on Wednesday that Thursday night would be the last night that Beacs would be open. Not only are the staff members my friends, but the manager, Dahna, is one of the three people in the world I refer to as a 「best friend.」Although some would argue that you can only have one single best friend, I have lived so many lives in my time that I qualify to have more than one, but I’ve gotten sidetracked.
Dahna is not only the manager of the Beacs, she and her husband also live above the bar. Throughout our entire twelve years of friendship she has lived in one of the two apartments above the bar. Some of my fondest memories and most incredible times were spent in that building, whether in the bar itself or in one of those apartments. I live very far away, but it makes it even less real. In my head I am trying to imagine a Toronto without Beacs and it just doesn’t seem to compute. It’s home. I learned to pour drinks there, how to do cash-out as fast as possible, and how to balance being crazy busy while still socialising and being all around good to customers (every so often I was enlisted to cover shifts or help out.)
Most importantly, though, it was the place where I created and fostered some of the most important relationships in my life, that are lasting through the test of distance and extremely different timezones. There was, and always will be, something magical about The Beaconsfield and it is a great loss for the city of Toronto. I am devastated that I was not at the final night. It just doesn’t seem right.
The massive changes of West Queen West since I began working at 69 Vintage at 22 (I think…?) are shocking. Last time I visited Toronto it looked like a different neighbourhood. Change is inevitable but this is some bullshit.
The best comparison I can make to the Beacs is the Cheers from the the eponymous program. Farewell, Beaconsfield. You truly changed my life and I will forever be thankful.
Post graduation life is pretty surreal. I am still having unfinished assignment dreams, but I have been having those since my days at ryerson, so this isn’t new. Just a nice new way for anxiety to manifest itself. I’m also in the grips of stress about the next step. Like, I have ideas of what I want to do, and where I want to do it but does that mean they’re going to happen? Since the finishing school thing has had time to digest now all those pesky and then what happened…? thoughts are inevitably bubbling up. That being said, I did spend an hour and a bit filling out paperwork for my change of status, last night. After two years of not having to deal with status of residence forms I almost (almost) forgot just how long they are. My obsessive mind doesn’t help (pencil, pen, erase.)
okay, rant: over. Onward upward and shit is looking good. I have great options and I’m feeling excited about the next step in my life. Going back to school was the right thing to do, but I’ll tell you something for nothing: being a student really isn’t that profitable and I have shoes to buy. Do the math.
I’ve come to realise that my tenure at Bunka has really tapped me into my introverted side. I find myself staying home and revelling in time spent alone. I need to push past that though. Nothing gets done if you don’t make it happen. Spending time alone in my, newly organised and tided apartment, is really doing me no favours. So like, time to go be around people and see… the sun…?
After a tumultuous 2 years of working like a madman, my graduation has settled in. I beat the odds, which seemed to be stacked against me (not gonna point fingers toward the stackers.) I have am still so busy, with the next step, but today I’m feeling reflective and stuff.
I will forever regret choosing money over a garment. yes, it was too much, but I know
I would still be wearing the shit out of this shirt. someday, somehow, perhaps it could be mine…
while I understand that it’s very important to make my new presentation keynote for the impending presentations on Monday, I really want to do other things! I know that is the opposite of what I should be doing, but I have really begun to enjoy teaching myself how to use Adobe XD and InDesign. After Monday, after Monday, after Monday.