Just a casual side bar, I am currently re-living and loving this song
My life is really my intense right now. I legitimately have never been this busy in my entire life . When I went to ryerson I thought I was busy, but no this is actually busy. I think the reason that I’m feeling so busy and so stressed out with is because I actually care about what I’m doing. While, yes, the program is somewhat flawed and disorganised, I’ve never been in a school that wasn’t flawed and disorganised. So, the fact of the matter is, this just feels normal. I never get enough sleep, but that’s to be expected when you’re doing a Masters and I can’t complain because this is really a dream come true. I live in Tokyo, and attend one of the most prestigious schools in the entire world and that’s going to make all the difference for my future… or I hope it will. It goddamn better make the future I want, for myself, a reality. Now I just need to get through everything. I have to finish my collection, annihilate my defence, graduate and visit Berlin, with my wifey, Misha. Then there is that whole thing about finding a job. Brush up on my 日本語能力, and I’ll be set.
Give me strength, I beg of you. I don’t know exactly what I believe in, but girl, I need whatever help I can have today. You know those days where everything ever makes you crazy and things take 3 times as long as you assume they will? Today. Those days when you can’t seem to get that person who just makes you grind your teeth even thinking about her? Yeah, that was my life today. I need to relax, and I just don’t have the time. Again, the struggle… is real.
So okay, it’s been a couple minutes since I wrote anything here. I honestly just have not had the time. Collection has pretty much taken over my life, no spend pretty much all day every day at school drafting patterns, sewing samples to check their fit, and taking very extensive notes as I go.
I am ashamed to say that I forgot how to sew the flat collar onto a shirt. I have spent how many years studying fashion design, sewing, and patternmaking and somehow I managed to forget how to sew a collar onto a damn shirt? Who am I? I actually had to google the method of sewing the collar on. When I think back to those horrible years spent at Ryerson, it would’ve been so much easier and convenient if smartphones had existed. You can literally Google instructions for anything. Check Armstrong? Fuck that I’ll check the Internet, thx!
There is a giant typhoon that’s going to make landfall in Tokyo and Sendai sometime tonight or tomorrow, and I can’t help but be nervous that I won’t be able to go to school tomorrow to patternmake. I am not trying to lose any more of my precious time. But during the last tayphoon a tree was knocked down in the courtyard at school. Knowing my luck, it might be a better idea to stay home.
As Kennedy Davenport says, the struggle is real.
Oh, and ps, could the new GaGa song drop, please? Actually, the whole album. I want the whole album, and I want it now .
So, I just had a wonderful conversation on FaceTime with one of my dearest friends named Cameron (who is also an extremely talented industrial designer and creative director.) We’ve been friends for… God knows how many years. Even though I live across the Pacific Ocean, it’s pretty amazing that we can just pick up and have a great chat like it was yesterday that we last saw each other. But, that’s a sign of a really good and real friendship. It’s people like him that make me push hard to be successful, if that makes sense…? I guess my black heart (which is my colour, hello) is warmed and elated knowing that I have friends like him in my life. He’s good people. ❤️❤️ This is basically us ↓
So, okay. I am just going to put this out there: paying more for an applicance is goddamn worth it. My beautiful pink Panasonic cordless iron was my BFF last night.
On account of お盆 (obon), Japan’s festival of the dead, Bunka is locked up tight for a week. A WEEK. I am not trying to sit around doing nothing, so I’ve been editing my thesis (again.) Good thing too, cause that bibliography was a hot mess. I’ve gotten sidetracked.
Anyway, last night I was up pressing and hemming yards and yards of muslin until around 6 am. That little iron is phenomenally powerful. It packs quite the punch for a wee pink, cordless iron. My apartment was like, a zillion degrees from all the steam. Gotta steam that muslin, henny. Today’s project is: pleating until forever. I have an order of operations in mind for this heavily pleated garment. While it may be rather time consuming, with a high attention to detail when I start sewing. Matching pleats so they don’t look janky, and I just had a brainwave about replacing… Wait, I ain’t putting that shit on the Internet. Girl, you’ll have to see that when it’s made.
After feeling extremely low last night, i’ve come to the realisation that I really do miss a lot of people from Canada. Obviously I miss my family but also my chosen family, my wonderful friends. Maybe I need to go and visit more often, but like, tickets ain’t cheap and I have a lot of responsibilities.
This verges on being annoying, or perhaps just dramatic, but I feel like there are some mistakes that each of us are doomed to make over and over again. Maybe I just need to get more sleep, or maybe I need to make better choices.
As of August 10 (水) I am starting my school forced holiday. While I don’t have classes or crit time right now, I am spending basically everyday at the school, in my studio. My apartment isn’t quite large enough to make patterns, and I am losing a week (!!!!!) of patternmaking and sewing time. While it’s important that I use the week to edit my thesis, again, and write the abstract, I feel like I’m going to lose my damn mind waiting to get back to my patterns. I want to start the next term with perfect muslins. I am not trying to start the term with busted shit. And yes, there is a load of time after the forced break, I can’t help but feel a bit of panic. How different for me..?